Not in Highschool Anymore
A batch of Highschool students toured our college this afternoon. They checked out my 2D class where we were using the Wacom Cintiqs. As if being watched like a zoo animal wasn’t surreal enough, my prof showed them an sample work of one of the best students. When I looked as well, I thought to myself “Hey, I animated that walk and run cycle!”. Apparently, I thought too loud so their gazes turned to my screen where I was testing my animation project. Awkwaaaard…
Looking at those highschool students so full of curiosity and amazement at what could lie ahead for their careers, intently observing if this college full of talent… Makes me remember how much I was excited to start art college. A stage where I will be able hone my skills and meet opportunities. Yet both my highschool self and the batch that visited us were oblivious to the screams of agony over projects and deadlines.
I used to tell myself that college won’t be as optimistic as I first thought. Even though I had no idea, I told myself to be prepared for stress. Right now when I’m readying my thesis proposal, in the middle of majors, being deprived of sleep and comfort of mind… My insides scream to give my tortured soul a break. That stress is a bigger demon than I’d imagine. There’s a part of me from highschool that’s keeps on reminding me of my mantra: No matter how much I will agonize, I signed up for this. I wanna tell that part “Screw you!”… But that’s just the lack of sleep that’s talking.
It was a small reward of pride when my prof indirectly said I was one of the best students. My prof’s compliment encouraged me to keep on accepting challenges and maintaining my standards. Despite all the agony I signed up for, I should be able to prove my competence. It’s a relief to finish everything that needs to be done, but a reward to make all the struggle worth it.
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